the beginning-chapter4

Posted: February 23, 2011 in personal history
Tags: , , , ,

Time to return to the past….

Let’s see…I was working at the Loyal Oak Taverne in Norton, OH at the end of my last quest for the past. I had gotten 2 DUIs in 6 months, had my first experience with a guy (whom i really cared about at the time), and was living with a great friend named Pam and her 2 kids who were also truly great!

After my 2nd DUI, i was put on house arrest for 30 days. Ankle bracelets SUCK, btw. It really wasn’t that difficult though. I could sit on my front porch and my neighbor would bring me beer. LOL. My bosses also liked me alot, they would let me stay on the clock and go out, and clock out when I was on my way home…do you know what strange looks you get when you are in a bar with an ankle bracelet on?? HAHAHA! Nothing really to talk about during that time, but I was quite lonely. My friends didn’t come to see me, and I couldn’t go to them. Oh well, some of them, i should have realized then weren’t actually friends, but my dumbass took several more years to figure that out…

I do remember after that, the neighbors house burned down. I slept through most of it, but when i got up, there were police and firemen everywhere. I didn’t find out what had happened until i saw the body bag come out later….his wife had died in the fire, she wouldn’t jump out of the 2nd floor window, even with guys below to try to catch her. She curled up under that window and burned to death. It was very hard, thinking about that, and looking at that house every day, knowing how she died. I think this is where my paranoia about housefires came from….I’m terrified that my house will catch on fire while i’m not home and kill my dog, or in the middle of the night. I’m always shutting stuff off now….it drives my current roommate nuts sometimes. LOL

I eventually got fired from the Loyal Oak…due to the fact that this bitch that i didn’t get along with got me fired. I had missed an employee meeting, and it wasn’t noticed until she complained to the owners about it. They really didn’t care, but since her friend had been fired for this, they had to let me go. Mark pulled me into the office and apologized profusely, not wanting to do it, but he had to and I understood.

I got a job at Starcher’s, the local pool hall. they had 20 pro tables, and help televised pro tounaments a couple times a year. I loved that job! I got free table time anytime I wasn’t working, and I took advantage of that to become a rather good pool player. I stopped playing for a couple years much later, and lost that, but I was going to start entering amateur tounaments then.

I was dating a girl named Alison at this point. A psycho, i should have realized, but hindsight is 20/20. She had 4? kids i think…only 1 in her custody. Gina had decided that her and her Mom were moving to Asheville, NC, and Alison decided that her and sean were going too. I would move down later. I drove with them from Ohio to Grafton, WV-my hometown, and the next day we were going to part and I was going to go home while they went on to NC. Somehow that night, Alison and Gina prodded me to move with them the next day, so I just didn’t go back to ohio, and onward to NC we all went.

So, I’m now living in NC, with a whole group of people-Louise (gina’s mom) and her girlfriend Red, Gina and Chuck, Me, alison and sean, and Red’s 2 other sons Roy and Will. Red managed a Pizza Hut, so she got me a serving job there (my first step up to server! woohoo!). We soon had some issues with the general manager, and Red and I both quit over principles. We moved several times and I’m not sure the exact sequence (we moved 12 times in 2 years…UGH!). We were living in a trailer park, Red and Louise and Red’s boys in one, and gina, chuck, alison, sean and me in another just down the street. Gina and Chuck broke up at the same time as Red and Louise, and they went home to Ohio. I was working 3rd shift at a CD/Tape packaging plant (HATED IT!)

There was a point that I broke up with Alison. Before we had come down to NC, I had come out to Gina, Alison, and Chuck Wolfe as bi, so they knew. Red and her whole family knew as well. Chuck Taylor and Alison and I were sitting on my bed one evening, and the conversation turned a bit…shall we say naughty….and a bet was the outcome. Chuck and I told Alison that she would chicken out in a threesome with us…needless to say, she didn’t chicken out. I think that was only so she could be with me again, since this was after our breakup. They both knew about me, and the rule was no male/male touching. This made it not much fun when he was so paranoid about even rubbing shoulders as we changed positions, but it was ok.

Within a week of our little tryst, i started dating Red. I don’t know why, she was 18 years older than me, and it was just….crazy. But it was fun, for awhile. LOL. Alison flipped her lid when that happened, and called her parents and told them to send her a bus ticket home. She got impatient, and didn’t wait for the bus ticket. She went to the neighbors, told them that chuck and I were plotting to kill her, and her parents drove down and picked her up that night. Crazy bitch! For sure, if I was plotting to kill her, first off I wouldn’t include anyone else in it, and second off, she’d never see it coming!

So then chuck and i moved in with red and the boys. we moved again, and again, and again……

I was working at Ragazzi’s Italian Restaurant on Tunnel Road when things started getting a little odd….Red had been clean and sober for many many years (almost 20 if i remember correctly) and one of her boys started smoking pot. Somehow, it just came to be that we all started smoking….we would literally buy a bag every night. Our landlord at the time (a lesbian who had a crush on red) supplied us well, and easy access, she lived in the house directly behind us, sharing the same driveway. I’d smoke a joint while walking 1 mile to work, work my lunch shift, smoke a joint on the way home, then we’d sit there the rest of the evening smoking up. Looking back, it was such a waste….

Red’s mother was informed by chuck that red was smoking again, and somehow this became my fault in her eyes. red had finished beauty school and was working in a salon. She was at work when her mom called me at home. She was screaming at me that i was worthless and that i had gotten her daughter back on drugs (she had done some very heavy drugs before-her rehab was very difficult for everyone). I ended up losing my temper and punching an oak doorframe while screaming at her mom. I broke my hand (a boxer’s break), but was so angry that I just put the bones back in place and kept arguing with Skip (her mom). She finally hung up. Later when red came home, things calmed down some, but we travelled to florida a couple times to see Skip and this was NOT comfortable.

Ragazzi’s was not going to let me work in my 1/2cast on my hand, until I proved to them that I could do it. They accepted the fact that it was ok, and i continued working with a broken hand. My career there as a server was short-lived, but i don’t really remember why….

I got a job at the Biltmore Dairy Bar…a HUGE place, serving lunch and dinner, mostly burgers and stuff…and 55 kinds of ice cream. 🙂 I worked my ass off there. My manager appreciated me TONS…I actually cussed out a guest in the middle of the dining room, and because I was right, I had no repercussions. That woman that i cussed out was a bitch!!! My manager just sent me out for a cig to calm down, and said that she’d take care of it.

It eventually came winter, and in April ’95 Red and I went to florida again. red’s youngest son was hit 8 years before by a Domino’s Pizza truck while playing in his front yard and had brain damage. He had to start his learning all over, at 8 years old…so at 16, he was an 8 year old with an impulse control problem (and he was bigger than me! Big kid with a bad temper….). Three times in the 2 years I was there we had to hold him down and have the cops take him away and institutionalize him. Very sad thing. Will was a very sweet boy when he wasn’t angry.

So the trip to florida was basically to settle the attorney’s stuff about will’s Settlement for his accident. It took them 8 years to do this….ugh. While in florida at skips house, we argued. we fought alot. Skip fought with me alot. It was the slow season for the restaurant, so I was only missing 12 hours on my schedule for the week i was there. I was only scheduled 12 hours the next week. Very slow that time of year. Red and Skip decided that I should go home to work and “support the family” while red stayed and dealt with other stuff. It cost more to send me home than i made that week, but oh well. I didn’t want to go, and felt that it was ridiculous. They put me on a bus for 27 hours anyways.

I got home, and started packing. Got all my stuff together, took some stuff over to a friends to keep for me (which i never did get to go back for), and had her watch red’s dog. My parents drove down and picked me up that weekend. I didn’t talk to red much that week, she just didn’t call. My dad drove straight through, up and back. We stopped at Hawk’s Nest State Park on the way home (finding out later the stop was because dad was having chest pain and needed to rest abit).

When we got home, dad said he was getting a shower and that mom should call an ambulance. WTF?! huh??? Dad had his third heart attack. While driving Mom to NC to pick me up. Christ, what a fucked-up mess. I called red a day later, having gone home alone to my parents house, taking a break from the hospital. I called red in florida. She asked me how her dog was, and i said “i don’t know. I’m not there.”….”where are you?”….”I’m at my parents.”….”You lying motherfucker! I’m gonna….blah blah blah….”

When mom and I got home in the evenings from being with dad at the hospital every day, there were messages from Red to my mom….Rhoda call me, we need to talk….I knew she was going to try to OUT me, so I went home for lunch the following day alone, leaving mom at the hospital. I called red….I said only this: “I know what you’re trying to do. You will stop calling my house. NOW. If you even THINK about calling and talking to my parents or family again, I will drive down there and kill you. Do you understand?? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” She hung up. She never called again.

I stayed long enough to get dad back on his feet, taking care of the house and the yard and all the stuff that dad does, until he could do it again and get back to work. Then I moved back to Ohio with a friend of mine, Billy, who I had met working at the Loyal Oak. We were real good friends, and I moved in with him, his g/f Paula and their son William. It was strange to say the least.

He got me a job with him on the floor care company for SuperKMart. I am now 25, living in Barberton, OH, and coming to realize that I’m not bi, i’m gay, and I’m tired of hiding it. I didn’t have a car at the time, and billy had the night off but was dropping me off at work. While he’s driving, I told him. I came out to one of my best friends at the time, while he’s driving. I worked with him, lived with him and his family, and he didn’t say another word during the trip. Nothing. He turned up the radio, dropped me off, and went home.

He picked me up in the morning, and we talked a little bit. He was ok with it, just shocked. He said he told Paula when he got home last night, and she (still to this day) denies that I’m gy. “He can’t be. He’s not like that.” It never affected our friendship  between paula and i, and it didn’t affect billy and I for another 10 or 12 years….but that story is later.

I ended up bouncing around for a bit. I lived with Gina and chuck wolfe for a bit (chuck wolfe married gina when she came back from NC). I moved in with Harley and Mike (Mike being my first, remember? the one i was infatuated with?). Stayed with them for quite awhile, but things got a little odd. That story will be a post all by itself someday…Harley and I became best friends at some point during this time. When he and Mike broke up, Harley would ask me to sleep with him to calm him down. Not sex, just sleep and hold him. He was emotionally destroyed for awhile, they had been together for 5 years. I ended up moving back in with Gina and chuck at some point, and was working 3rd shift at Eat-N-Park….what a crappy job. My very first experience with a tiny bit of ?homophobia? i guess, was there with another employee. I had walked up behind one of the guys I worked with (I was out by this point, except with my family) as he was saying something about Fags…I tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around. The color drained from his face. he was a bit of a scrawny guy…and all I said is “y’know, I would hate for you to have to go home and tell your daddy you got your ass whooped by a fag. I suggest you shut your mouth.” He apologized over and over. We were ok after that, no harm done.

I dont actually remember where i was working at the time…i switched jobs often back then. I had done some landscaping, so maybe i was working there…i don’t know. But a friend was having a birthday party at a strip club that his g/f worked at. It was right down the street from my house, so I left my truck at home and walked to the bar. I rarely smoked weed anymore, and had never drank at the same time. We had met up with this guy at the strip club, and he and I hit it off. We changed venues to another bar down the street. During our drinking, the guys decided to go out and smoke a joint…now we had been drinking very heavily, and smoking that just completely made me lose my mind. This guy and I decided that we should all go to the gay bar-a huge dance club not too far away. For some reason, I refused to go without my truck, so I ended up walking home and getting my truck. Very bad mistake…..

So this whole group of straight guys, a stripper girl, and this guy i met all went to the gay club. (this wasn’t my first time in a gay bar, but My first time in a gay bar is another story for later hehehe). This guy and I had already decided that he was going home with me before we got to the club. During our massive drinking, he had said he was going home with someone else. This is all in bits and pieces at this point, as I found out that when I mix alcohol and pot I black out and remember almost nothing but small flashes of memories. But I pieced the story together. He came back shortly and said that no, he didn’t go home with that guy, and still wanted to go home with me. I said ok. Billy had already left, being trashed as he was. I was utterly trashed, and apparently I let this guy drive my truck, heading towards my house. We stopped at a pay phone, and I called billy’s house and talked to paula. Told her i was coming over there and that i was alone (which i wasn’t….hmmm). As we drove down Howard hill, towards billy and paulas (back towards the bar we had just left), a car cut us off. I do remember that….seeing a car almost hit my side of the truck because we were in the left lane of a 4lane street, and the guy swerved into our lane. The dude driving my truck veered to the left, lost control, and flipped my truck on the hillside. I have no idea why, but that was one of the very rare occasions that i had my seat belt on. It was the night of July 3rd, and my truck is upside down in the middle of the street. I woke up, unfastened my seat belt, and started going through the grass looking for my pager and glasses. That’s when the red and blue lights showed up….I wasn’t even sure what was happening, and was completely utterly trashed. I was in and out of consciousness for awhile, and when I finally woke up, i talked to the police in the ER. The guy driving my truck was gone. He had fled before the police showed up, so I was the only one at the scene. The hospital had done xrays and cat scans….and by now it’s 8 am on July 4th….the nurse said they wouldn’t release me until i had a ride. I called everyone I knew in Akron, and couldn’t get anyone to answer the phone. I told the nurse i was leaving anyways, and finally just walked out of the ER and walked home. Damn I was sore all over!! It took me 2 hours to walk home, and I had just sat down on the front porch when Billy came screeching into the driveway. He had heard the messages i left from the hospital, and had gone there to find me. the nurse there told him that i went out for a cig and never came back. Lying bitch. ugh.

Billy took me to the store to buy smokes, and it took me 10 minutes to get out of the car, i hurt so bad. They were going to the movies, and I just told them no, i’m not getting back in that car, and I’d go some other time, and went upstairs and went to bed.

I got charged with another DUI, because it was my truck and I was the only one on the scene. Even though the doctors said i had passenger-side seat belt injuries, it didn’t matter. I got 30 days in jail, and had to go to AA for 3 months. That’s where I met Diane S., and some other friends, and I shall stop here. Sorry it was so long, but I hope it was entertaining!! Sometimes real life IS more entertaining than TV LOL 🙂 Chapter5 coming soon……

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