Archive for the ‘gay teen message’ Category

With all the crazy shit going on in the world lately, i really needed to find something positive to post. I finally found it in a post by my friend NightTempest. This is the post for one day last week. I’m posting it here with permission. It’s truly a great thing, and I’m proud to call Night my friend! Enjoy, friends!
Everyday like clockwork I go into Starbucks.  Anybody who knows me, knows how much I love that damn place.  The baristas–both near my work and my home–know me by name and my voice in the drive-thru.  Some may find that a bit crazy but I look at it as a reward for a long damn day about to begin and then on the way home as a reward for putting up with the shit I put up with.  It’s my thing and crazy or not, something about the tiny coffee haven relaxes me.   So I go inside last night because the drive-thru is packed with beach goers and I’m like no friggin way am I sitting there for fifteen minutes. Plus I know my friend Adam is working and if I go inside, he’ll give me a free cookie. 🙂 Night+Cookie=Sparkles. Once inside, I notice the line.  The big ass, almost out the door line and i groan but I’m already out of the car, so I decide to stay.  This is where the real plot begins. Lol. But no seriously, have you ever had that moment that you knew you were meant to be there? At that exact time, at that exact place?  Divine intervention people. It’s real. So not to sound like a crazy person but if I wasn’t a believer in fate before, I am now.  Three or four people get their coffee in the next round of line moving and it’s then that I notice the couple in front of me.  The two boys (early twenties), one smiles at the other and then he kind of rub shoulders with the blonde guy and I’m curious but not a creeper so I kind of glance away.  When I look back, the boy on the left looks really upset but is *trying* not to show it.  His now obvious boyfriend puts an arm around his shoulders and looks to my far left.  Then I notice the source of upset. Two guys and a girl are at a table glaring at the boys.  I should also tell you that I live in the most tight ass conservative town you’ve ever seen.  We have a church on almost every other block, way too many republicans, and a pre-dominately Dutch population. Or rather people who think they’re Dutch but just come off as a bunch of prissy moronic snobs. (My dad’s parents are from the Netherlands and they laugh at what our town considers ‘heritage’ when they come to visit.   Let’s put it that way.) Now let’s imagine the town’s view on gay rights and acceptable behavior as far as any lgbt individual is concerned shall we?  It’s down right disgusting the way they treat them.  Now I happen to know the girl that’s with them and know she’s just a straight bitch but the two boys are the ones that stand up and make for the trash station which happens to be right behind the gay couple.  That’s when things get real.  I’ve hung around with enough boys (3 brothers?) to know the look that goes through a guy’s eyes when he’s about to do something he knows he’s not supposed to but enjoys doing anyways.  They both had it and I stepped in front of the gay couple without saying anything.   I turned and acted like I was waiting for my turn but didn’t miss the confused looks from both parties.  The dumb ass twins stopped and the one smirked as I turned and smiled at him sweetly.  He pulled the lid off his sorta empty coffee cup and was about to throw it over the guys and into the trash–trying to dump the remaining contents on the guys from above.  This was when I cleared my throat and made a show of putting out my hand and telling them I would throw it out for them.  Everybody watched because I said it *really* loud. 😀 The guys looked at each other and then handed over the cup after seeing that Adam and the entire staff was watching as well.   They mumbled ‘slut’ and ‘bitch’ on the way out but I blew them a kiss and continued to wait in line.  The girl rolled her eyes and nudged me as she passed.  I kissed her boyfriend once in uh…high school….get over it wench.  Anyway, everything was normal again–the crappy indie music was going, grinders were making me grit my teeth, people on laptops…blah blah.  Then the boyfriend pulled the upset guy close and kissed him on the lips.  A few people noticed and a few people moved away.  Above the fact that two guys kissing is like a major turn on,  that they did it out in the open in this town took some balls.  It was like a true fuck you to anyone that was watching and I kind of wanted to fist pump but then I would have truly looked like a drunken crazy bitch, so I didn’t. I smiled when they glanced at me with a nod.  I knew they knew what I did but I wasn’t out to make a scene over it.  I would just hope someone would do it for me if the roles had been reversed so I just nodded back.  When they got to the counter the boy on the right stepped aside and told me to go ahead with a smile.  The boy on the left nodded but still looked upset and backed up.  Adam of course was his bouncy self and hugged me over the counter and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  And a cookie! Wahhhh sooooo good. Anywho, we chatted for a minute and I got an idea.  The boys had their backs turned and were in some serious conversation, so I slipped Adam an extra fifteen and said to pay for their drinks. He gave me the cute pouty face and hugged me again before we talked about having dinner at my house on Friday (today).  I waved and got my drink as he greeted the gay couple.  Of course he knew them. Lol. Adam knows everybody. Smh with a grin. I left and that was that.  I didn’t stick around to see what they thought, I just figured it was a bit of goodwill and I’ve done it before.  No biggie.  Boy was I soooo wrong.   So fast forward to tonight.  I got out of work a little early today and went home to start up the grill with my bf and a few of our close friends.  D and his brothers and their people are there and the party is hoppin a bit (it’s actually still going :D, I just had to get this out quick).  Then Adam shows up and pulls me inside away from the crowd.  There in my living room is the couple from Starbucks.  I’m like whoa! Uh ok.  So I awkwardly say hello because I’m kind of floored and they say hey back.  Then Tim (Mr. Upset) walked up to me and gave me a big hug.  Now I don’t know this guy or his boyfriend and he’s hugging me like we’re family. He doesn’t let go for a minute but when he does he’s got tears all over his face and when someone cries, it makes me wanna cry.  ♥♥ Tim, with the help of Ryan–his boyfriend–explained that right before they went to Starbucks yesterday, Tim had come out to his parents.  To make a long story short, they made it clear he was no longer allowed in their home.  Making matters worse, the boys at Starbucks knew the couple from the college they attend and are known for their dislike of gays and black people. Which makes sense if they hang out with that girl (her dad is a member of the militia=fucked up). So the day had been rough times ten and Tim told me that it took everything he had not to burst into tears at Starbucks when I stepped in front of them and took that cup away.   After I left and they had found out about me paying for their drinks, they insisted on thanking me personally, so Adam brought them along.  Ryan was the one who mentioned the fate aspect of it all.  He said it could not have played out better if he had imagined it.  While they had been in line, they were talking about the good in some people and that not everyone would turn their back on them because they were gay.  Then I came in when Tim was ten seconds from losing it and proved Ryan’s point.  That’s when I broke down because hell, who wouldn’t?  We talked about a lot of personal issues that my own family faced and how lucky Tim was to have Ryan and a few other things but by the end of their visit?  I know Tim felt better.  We’re getting together next weekend and I have a feeling they’ll be part of our little group in no time.  They’re seriously two of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. The moral of all this to me?  You have no idea the effect you have on people.  Whether it’s your words, your actions, or the look in your eyes, someone is watching and listening to you.  What do you want them to see?  What do you want them to hear?  Don’t be afraid of being the minority in any situation.  If you feel the way you feel, don’t be shy.  Speak up. Sweet dreams everyone ~XOXOXO NIGHTTEMPEST

So, I’ve been trying to get everything done for this chauffeur’s license for months. All the paperwork has to be dated within 30 days of applying for the licenses. I’m required to mail off for a S.L.E.D. check (a background check in SC), a physical from my doctor, a 10-year license history, a 10-finger fingerprint card, a sex offender registry report and a valid driver’s license of course LOL. I have finally gotten it all together! I have received my City of Charleston Chauffeur’s License, and am waiting til tomorrow when someone will be in the office in North Charleston to do a fingerprint card so I can go get my North Charleston chauffeur’s license! Tomorrow I will be able to take both licenses to Yellow Cab and get a date to start training!! WOOHOO!!!

I’ve also gotten my glasses, so I can once again SEE! I broke my glasses over 2 years ago, and haven’t had any since….although, somehow when I got my SC driver’s license I passes the eye exam without an eyeglass restriction. LOL 🙂

In the past week or so (well, a couple of weeks LOL), I’ve also joined with Take A Stand (, a group to help prevent bullying based out of Australia, and friended Caleb Laieski (founder) and Casey Cameron of GLUAD (Gays and Lesbians United Against Discrimination), who are helping with my cousin’s issue with being bullied in school. I’ve posted the link for GLUAD’s facebook page, but they also have a website you can check out soon. I’m hoping that I can work with these groups and people with my group TIN (Teens In Need) to help teens that need assistance of any kind. I’d also like to work on finding a way to help homeless gay teens here in Charleston, SC at some  point, but I think that might be a ways off before I’m ready to tackle that endeavor.

And please don’t forget about the other organizations that I’ve posted before! I’ll post links to them again here: an organization founded to help prevent gay teen suicide.
 an organization to help fight gay teen homelessness.


 an organization to prove that it gets better!


 an organization to help runaway teens.




All of these organizations are very important in our fight for teens to live happy well-adjusted lives, and to survive their teen years as kids are coming out younger and younger nowadays, making it more difficult for kids in school having to deal with coming out to their families, bullies at school, some being gay-bashed in school as well, depression and thoughts of suicide, along with some having to deal with religious upbringing on top of all the rest. Growing up catholic and gay, I know what it’s like with the family and religion thing, though I didn’t come out until I was 26 so I didn’t have to deal with bullying because I was gay, but I did have to deal with everyday bullying anyway.

Kids, if you need help, or just need someone to talk to, follow one of these links….it will help! There are things that can be done to help you, you just have to let us know you need help! And even if you’re not a teen, we’ll still help, so please don’t think we’d leave anyone out that needs help!







I would like to address all LGBTQ teens with this post today. Please understand that your life COMPLETELY changes once you are out of high school! I know it’s hard, whether you’re closeted or out, with bullying, with dealing with your sexuality in your own mind and coming to terms with coming out or staying in the closet a bit longer, on top of all the other “normal” teen issues and pressures. But you have to understand that life outside of school is completely different! Yes, there are still bullies, places that are unsafe to be “out”, and people who will hate you…but it’s nothing like being stuck in a school where you must be around these people every day. Just try to get through it! It’s not that far away when you graduate and get out of that system of abuse and intolerance!

There is help out there if things are so far out of control that you want to die! I have a group and fanpage called Teens In Need <— (the fanpage)—on facebook, there are organizations like The Trevor Project and Project LifeVest to help with teens wanting to commit suicide or LGBTQ homeless teens, there are groups out there to help with bullying if your school refuses to do anything about it, there are people out there willing to listen, if you just need someone to talk to about your life and decisions! It Gets Better has people out there showing you that it DOES get better! My TIN fb fanpage has resources listing all of these organizations and others, from help with suicide to homelessness to bullying to runaway hotlines. Please look for help before you decide to die! We need YOU to help fight with us, so that others aren’t put into the position that you find yourself in! And once you have that cap and gown on, YOU can make decisions to place yourself where you don’t have to live in fear, and are accepted by others like you. There are millions of us out there, you just have to find us! You are not alone in being gay or bi or transgender or out or closeted…or any other of the many “labels” that we have. We have many straight allies that are there to prove to you that not everyone hates gays, not everyone persecutes us.

There is help out there, if you just look for it. Please, take a few minutes to talk to some of us before you make a decision that you can’t take any more…there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, but you can only see it if it’s dark where you are, and someone points it out.

I grew up in a small town in WV. I didn’t come out until I was 26. Between where I lived, and being raised catholic, I had issues that I had to deal with. I never actively tried to commit suicide as a teen, but I thought about it, and I took risks that could easily have led to my dying hoping that maybe…..but thankfully, it didn’t happen. I have made an impact on many lives as an adult, and hopefully most have been on a positive note. You all have that potential! When you are done with school and you move on to adulthood, you will make many differences in many people’s lives. You should not deny those people the privilege of getting to know you later in life. You could save a person someday, from the suicidal thoughts that you might be having now, just because you know what they are going through, and can share your story.

Again, I implore you…I’ll beg if I have to…please, please, please look for help, for someone to talk to….stick around to make a difference!!